LOVE.

bye tumblrrr~~

going back to Xanga :)

Change

today.. i sat there and realised how weak my faith is .. dangit..what happened.

._____.” what did uni do to me O_______O” i’ve gotten myself to try so many things i’ve never tried before ._____.” ugh, i’ve got to stop…

i can ask myself…..

what faith……you have no faith. it’s clearly been shown ..

sigh. it’s never too late though right?

time for some devos tonite.

….it’s been four days and i pick one up now?…..

Good change is so hard, but bad change is so easy, why is that so?

small things make me so angry, i think its killing me slowly inside.

i try to have a peaceful meeting with someone on skype.

at 11:30 tells me to sleep. i tell her, no im having a skype meeting and ill sleep at 12. and she goes on and on about how my health is bad and why i always have to say, ill sleep in ____ minutes.

well I dont know, perhaps I’m doing something important?

Then my brother rambles down the stairs cuz my moms loud and stands there watching me get lectured. and my dad comes down.

It’s like .. oh let’s watch macy get lectured and yelled at! and WASTE THE 30 MINS SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE BEFORE GOING TO BED?

why not NOT lecture me and accept my “I’m going to bed at 12” so I can finish my meeting for half an hour, but now you have wasted 15 minutes.

Why are people like that….

Sure, you can say she’s caring about my health- sleep early, feel better. But the process, can you really say she truly cares?

so many fm kids want a pa job, i feel like i’m slowly being swayed over.

am i wrong for never have wanted a pa job? or was i just naive and uninformed what a pa job was….

why does this all confuse me? i’ve switched over from wanting my cma to ca to cfa to ca now…from wanting a charitable organization job to an international industry job to a pa firm for charitable organization audits to now.. i’m confuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuused.

i feel like i don’t even know what i want :( i’ll just conform to society once again!

i really need to take a stand on what I truly want, except my problem is.. what DOOOOO i want..

i wish i could take auditing now :(

then i could truly decide how much hate i have for it D:

or likeeeeee!

im really sun fu =( ho seung move away…..and just start everything over…….

ever get that weird feeling when one of your best girlfriends is closer to your ex than you are?

i smell some jealousy.

v_____v

would you ever date your best friend’s ex?

is that even normal?

i’m having crazy thoughts tonight …

something you can’t buy as an accountant..

the smile you create on their faces with just a small kind deed,

the emotions they express when they see your love towards them,

their sincere thank you when they recognize that there’s people out there who care..

my hopes in the long run of my future…

to have a heart so WILLINGLY to give to others, NOT EXPECTING to get anything back.

i don’t wanna just do this to make myself feel so tingly inside and feel so “good” to be a good person.. it doesn’t feel exactly right. but it’s definitely a nice feeling. but just to go beyond..

it’s hard right now. i’m still a bit stiff and anxious, sometimes just wanting to hold back because of fear..

to learn to go beyond my fears and worries to give glory to God..and SHARE with others his love for EVERY SINGLE one of us.

this world is so broken and in need..

men are on the streets..women, young women, old women..

backspace

i wish i never had to meet a nice person like you..

can never delete nice people out of your life…

i don’t want to drag the pain on, but it’s not as easy as pressing a backspace button..or a delete button..

one or the other..

today, went to goodlife with motherrr, love the classes + sauna :) then sushi lunch.

watched so much kek jap today……:( didn’t accomplish anything.

reading week is gonna turn into drama week :(

i think i’ve become a seriously angry person. forgive and forget is something i really got to learn….even if that person hurt me countless times….sigh. yeh, next time :( i m going to hold in my anger.

kinda saaaaaaaaaaad my partner’s not working with me ><…….sigh. no anger no anger :(

needa learn how to love myself…no human being gets what i’m going through .___.”.. but i gotta let it all go ._______. respect.

needa learn so many things..

alright, i suppose i learned a good lesson last night.

never againnnnn ever ever.

serious this time :\

i felt like i lost my identity last night when i came home to sleep…i was likee..who am i….what have i become………….tugging between one or the other….hate one and love the other

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

..i should really live by that……

i complain too much. i need to stop ><

conforming……WHY..just stop :( no more.

why can’t we just get along .____.”…..

our friendship is like a rollercoaster ……ugh, sometimes youre so nice, but sometimes you act like the biggest dick ever.